Things will be better when you’re gone.

September 14, 2011

First, I’d like to thank my friend for allowing me to post this on his blog since it doesn’t necessarily relate to the overall theme of my personal blog.

These thoughts have been brewing for a while now.  I’ve shared my dark philosophy with my close friends but never quite as out loud or publicly as this platform will offer.  It’s pretty depressing, but I feel that the truth behind the message might change the way that people think about certain issues that aren’t yet socially acceptable for whatever reason.

Tonight I read a post in a Facebook group about a high school student that was expressing how disappointed he was with a conversation that his parents had with one another.  His parents’ conversation was about another set of parents that were extremely upset that their child announced that he was a homosexual and how they would be devastated if their one child did the same.  It inspired me to open my laptop and type this post.

Over the past few years, I have developed a firm stance on gay rights.  Not because I am gay myself, but because I am open-minded.  If that last statement was insulting to you then you should probably read on and probably be even more insulted.  I realize that people might not share the same views as me but they are still entitled to their own views and lifestyles.  That’s my definition of open-minded.  If you feel otherwise based on your religion, political affiliation, or because “that’s the way you were raised” then you aren’t open-minded.  You are basing how everyone else should live on the set of standards that you set for yourself.  Just stop and think about it for a second.  No really, stop right now before reading the next paragraph and just pause to think about the things that you believe and how they affect the happiness of others.  (Pause and count to 30)

I didn’t always feel as passionate as I do now about equality.  It was only a few years ago that the words “faggot” and “nigger” were part of my regular vocabulary.  It’s not something that I am proud of by any means.  Now, I actually am quite offended when I hear people use these words even in a playful sense.  It’s really not funny to me any more.  Who the hell am I (and you) to tell other people how to live their life if it’s not directly affecting the way I live mine?  I might not agree with it but I support that very right.

I thought about how things changed of the course of history and how embarrassing it is to think that the rights that some people have today were denied not long ago in our past.  From slavery to women’s right to vote, it’s embarrassing.  It’s embarrassing to think of how big of a deal it is that we now have a black president because we never thought in our recent past that we would ever see this as possible and acceptable.  It’s milestones like these that expose how narrow-minded we actually are as a society.

Over time, things get better but it’s never fast enough.  I credit the changes in socially acceptable issues to more open-mindedness from generation to generation.  Our ancestors socially accepted rights that denied others of those very same rights and we are still doing the same thing today with gay marriage.  It will again be embarrassing to look back 20 years from now when gay marriage is passed (hopefully much much sooner) and wonder why we waited so long to pass a law that allows people to be happy.  Gays aren’t looking for anything else but equality and we as a society are denying them of that.  That’s embarrassing.

As generations continue they become more accepting to the beliefs of others.  My generation is more accepting of homosexuality than my parents’ generation and definitely more accepting than their parents’ generation.  What is awesome about this trend is that my children will live in a world that is more accepting than the very one in which I live.  It’s very offensive and insulting to accept the concept that things will be better when you’re (I’m) gone and that’s a beautiful thing for our children, their children and so on.

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On memories, relationships, and fantasy sports

November 10, 2010

It’s funny how memories evolve over time.  My friends and I have told and retold stories so many times that when one of us tells a story, a lot of us have a hard time remembering if we were actually there.  The lines of the memory get blurry because we’ve heard the story so many times and we know each other so well that we feel like we were a part of the story regardless.

Sometimes that happens with real life memories too.  An event happens and from your perspective it doesn’t quite align with how someone else remembers it.  I call this Eric Cartman Syndrome.  Eventually you do enough mental gymnastics that you make yourself remember your story however you want to remember it.

"You saved everybody from the Jewbots, Cartman!"

The other evening I was in the middle of an in-depth anthropological research project on the history of my facebook account.  This incredibly valuable sociological research stemmed from a comment from a few months back that I  needed to find as well as five mixed drinks from Phillip, the bartender at the Riverside Inn. Eventually these precipitating factors resulted in my clicking of older posts all the way back to the beginning of my facebook account.  Along the way I chronicled some very important events in my facebook history by photo capturing them.   As I collected and catologued this very important historical data, I stumbled upon a girl whom I dated for a couple of months back in 2007.

By all accounts, I remember it being a fun relationship.  The girl was totally hot, funny, liked good music, etc.  Unfortunately our relationship didn’t end on the best of terms.  I distinctly remember one day she was nagging me about going to see a movie after I’d just finished restraining a student for two hours.  This student had attempted to eat my tie and spit all over me.  I was not in a mood to go see a movie.  I remember trying to communicate this to her and she hung up on me.  The first night we met I had told her that I couldn’t tolerate people who hung up in the middle of a phone call.  She  knew what buttons she was pushing.

So naturally after rehashing through these memories, I was kind of curious as to what she was up to now-a-days.  So I did what any former gentlemanly beau would do and sent her a message on facebook asking how she was doing and wishing her well.  Apparently she hasn’t quite emotionally healed from that last fight just yet, because this is the response that I received.

Considering how angry she is, I found it considerate that she would wish me well also.

I don’t really remember telling her that fantasy baseball was more important than she was, but ya know, I have to be honest… that does sound like something I may have, at one point in my life, said.

But, I will have to say in my defense, I did win both of my fantasy leagues this season.


On dating… and such.

October 17, 2010

As of midnight tonight, I will no longer be a 27 year old man.  Yes, I’ll be turning 28 on October 17th.  I suppose all of my recent medical problems are fitting as I inch closer to the 30 year-old milestone and the unforgiving, calloused grip of death.  I mean, in dog years, I’m at least 200 by now.

All that's left for me to look forward to now.

This recent revelation that death is upon me has also made me start to question my lifestyle, however.  I mean, the last seven years of my life I’ve been a pretty swinging bachelor.  I’ve lived in swanky townhouses, sweet apartments, and baller condos.  I spent money like only a white, middle-class rockstar with a $7,500 credit limit could.  I was a free spirit without a wife or kids (that I know of) to serve as buzzkills for my awesome ideas, like buying a sweet drum set for my Rock Band video game.

As a result of this self-reflection, I’ve decided to expedite the relationship process and join match.com.  Now, there’s a rigorous application process to join match.com, but for the low price of $17.99, an algorithm can be applied to the information I input to find the most compatible partner(s) out there for me!  I have been waiting years for a computer to be able to figure out the people I’d get along with in real life, so this is a pretty big day for me.  I know that love is hard to find, which is why I’m going to let the internet do it for me.

Now, part of the process involves typing up a 250 character (minimum) essay about yourself.  Of course, my favorite part of the whole match.com experience is talking about moi.  So I’m going to put myself out there; to share with you my innermost, intimate feelings, my wants and desires, that will hopefully help me find a compatible mate.  This is what I’ve come up with so far.  It’s pretty solid.

Single and ready to mingle.  I’m a 28 year old entrepreneur.  I work extensively in the field of alternate energy technology, specifically how to turn boll weevil refuse and corpses into a viable source of energy.  I am incredibly interested in the mating habits of zebra muscles and have an extensive collection of them in my grandmother’s basement.  Zebra muscles are just a hobby, however.  My real passion lies in studying the traffic patterns of urban/suburban areas in the Southeast. I’m looking for a lifelong companion and lover who doesn’t mind rubbing the callouses on my feet in the evenings after a long day of working with boll weevil waste and just wants to sit back to a glass of MD 20/20 and some ‘Little House on the Prairie’ DVD’s by the gas powered fireplace.

I’ve also submitted a picture to accompany my brief “About Myself”.

All that you see here could be yours.

Please, keep in mind that this is just a jumping off point.  I’ve still got a lot of work to do before my profile is ready for the internet to determine my lifetime companion.

But don’t worry, I’ll keep you updated as necessary.