Sean Connery is one of the most successful and instantly recognizable men on the planet. But for as much as people read about him and watch his movies, there is a lot of mystery surrounding the original James Bond. I’ve done some extensive research and found a few little known facts about the man that stole all of our grandmothers’ hearts.
Ladies, brace yourselves.
1. Sean Connery was once offered the lead role in “The Passion of the Christ,” but turned it down because he was tired of being type-cast as “The Savior of All Mankind.”
2. Tired of the political unrest between East and West Germany, Sean Connery took one last mission from the British Secret Service and destroyed the Berlin Wall, then subsequently made love to a German spy on the rubble.
3. Sean Connery once saved the entire race of dragons from extinction.
4. When Sean Connery was knighted, he saved the Queen from a terrorist plot, drank a vodka martini; shaken, not stirred, and then made love to the Queen in her carriage.
5. Each time Sean Connery turns down a part in a movie, an angel catches fire.
6. Sean Connery can make a woman orgasm by smiling at her and winking.
7. Typically it’s very gross to sleep with the same woman as your dad, unless your dad is Sean Connery in which case he has slept with every woman on the planet, so it’s unavoidable.
8. Sean Connery physically gave birth to Indiana Jones after carrying him in a womb he created for himself because he was concerned that a woman wouldn’t be able to handle that much sex appeal inside of them.
9. Excited by the news that Sean Connery decided to reprise his role as James Bond in the movie “Never Say Never Again” in 1983, the United States, Lebanon, and Israel signed an agreement on Israeli withdrawal from Lebanon.
10. Sean Connery will make Scotland an independent nation one day by offering the country a drink and then sleeping with it.
11. Sean Connery once wanted to prove how sexy being bald and having a hairy chest were. He then plucked the hairs out of his head one by one and inserted them in his chest.