I realized a while back that as a young adult I spent a good portion of my childhood with my friends, renting some ridiculous movies to help pass the time. This was for one of two reason: 3 movies for 99 cents is a bargain to a teenager and six hours of B-movie cinema is guaranteed to have way more nudity than your new releases. Some of those R-Rating said ‘Graphic nudity’ and didn’t necessarily work out. Specifically I’m thinking of ‘Dr. T and the Women’. I did not enjoy looking right into that lady’s birth canal.
But I digress.
Anyways, I realized that there are quite a few entertaining holiday movies out there that… well let’s just say I wouldn’t invite grandma over for egg nog and a night of watching these. But if you and your friends don’t have much going on one evening and one of you has a VHS player still, I would check these less than traditional holiday movies on for size.
1. Jack Frost
It’s a prequel to the fantastic cinematic masterpiece starring Michael Keaton… I wish.
That would be a long time overdue. No, I’m talking about this Jack Frost. If this tagline doesn’t interest you, I don’t know what will:
‘A serial killer dies, comes back as a snowman, and wreaks havoc.’
I think I’ve seen that plot in a movie before, where a man dies, comes back as a psychotic inanimate object, and wreaks havoc… it TOTALLY works! Consider the liberal plot borrowing from Child’s Play and the fact that Shannon Elizabeth has a nude shower scene and you can count me in for this one!
2. Santa’s Slay
I found this cleverly homophone-titled gem on my younger brother’s shelf one holiday season . In this riveting apocalyptic tale starring fan-favorite Bill Goldberg (yeah, the wrestler), we learn that Santa Claus is actually a demon who lost a bet to an angel. The penalty of that loss: he must spend a REALLY long time dressed up as a jolly fat man laughing and smiling and spreading goodwill towards mankind. However, after he pays his dues, he goes on a murderous rampage, making up for the lost time, obviously. Co-starring Fran Drescher and Chris Kattan, you can’t really go wrong with this film. A holiday can’t miss.
3. Silent Night, Deadly Night
Looking at the cover of this movie, one can instantly understand the appeal of this movie to a thirteen year old boy. One look at this cover and we were SOLD (in oversized letters, just like that). What sets this film apart from the two other movies on my list is the great acting by Robert Brian Wilson as the tormented lead. He stars as a emotionally lost man who was abused as a boy and in turn becomes what he hates the most around the holiday season: a maniacal Santa -clad killer. Boy, if I had a nickel for every time that’s happened to me around the holiday season. People can relate to this film. That’ what makes it so good.
‘Who’s Robert Brian Wilson?’ you ask? Well, he’s the guy who was in the Knots Landing episode ‘Poor Jill’ as the driver.
Yeah. That Robert Brian Wilson.
I hope that this inspires some of you find your B-movie diamonds-in-the-rough this holiday season. Use my list as the springboard for your own inspirational holiday movie-watching-fest.
God bless us, everyone! And to all a good night!