The Olsen Twins are incredibly gross.

I’m a child of the Full House Generation.  I went through awkward adolescent relationships right along with Stephanie Tanner.  I struggled through anorexia with DJ.  I wrestled ferrets in the basement with Uncle Jesses and his mullet.  Have mercy!

Sadly, it turns out that life doesn’t always imitate art.  Bob Saget is really a giant pervert, Dave Coulier isn’t funny doing anything other than the voice of a woodchuck, Jodie Sweetin is a whacked out meth addict, and John Stamos… well, actually, it turns out that John Stamos is pretty awesome.  One of the best parts of that show, however, was the adorable set of twins, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, who portrayed Michelle Tanner.  Michelle was a well-trained family pet the adorable youngest daughter of the troupe.  She had impeccable timing with catch-phrases like, “You got it dude!” and, “You’re in big trouble mister!”   In my head, when I think of “Full House”, I remember when Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen both looked like this.

Those kids are so adorable. It almost makes me want to go get one of my own.

Unfortunately, early celebrity has taken yet two more victims in its deadly grasp.

Yikes!

Keep your resumes up-to-date, girls.  I hear Tim Burton is casting for his sequel to ‘The Corpse Bride’ soon.

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One Response to The Olsen Twins are incredibly gross.

  1. dave says:

    yeah they’re pretty skeezed out.. but I’d still f**k em.

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