I know Glenn Beck is an idiot. He may not know that, however.

The following is a transcript from the November 4, 2010 airing of whatever Glenn Beck’s show is called.  I didn’t want to take the time to look it up.  Some people say it’s called ‘Crossfire’.  Is that true?  I don’t know.  I’ve highlighted all of my favorite parts in bold.  Some of my favorite parts are spelling/grammatical errors.  I don’t know who to blame for those: the chimpanzee speaking or the one editing the transcript before it’s posted.

I saw a story today where something is very, very wrong. And I don’t know what it is yet, and the media is completely missing the real story. I can’t tell you what the real story is yet, but there are too many unanswered questions.

The president’s upcoming trip to India, and other points from there. Report came out that has made rounds on the Internet about the high cost of this trip. Some people say that it is up to $2 billion for 10 days. Is that true? I don’t know!

The media is bickering back and forth about what the real cost is and how many ships will be there — 34 warships possibly. I don’t know.

Two hundred million dollars a day while in India. I don’t know.

The president has blocked off 800 hotel rooms. Do we still — do even know if he’s travelling [sic] with 3,000 people? Do we know if that’s true?

No one knows any of the details of this trip, the real cost of the trip. One thing we can say for certain is, it’s going to be quite expensive.

I want to make this extraordinarily clear. I have been against this trip since I’ve heard about it just a few weeks ago because I don’t believe the president — I don’t believe the president is listening to the Secret Service. I know enough Secret Service people to know that they take his safety and every president’s safety extraordinarily serious. And there are too many things wrong with this trip.

You protect the president at all costs. I don’t care if it costs them $10 trillion. Mumbai is a very dangerous place. Massive terror attack — only two years ago, 166 were killed. More 300 wounded during the three-day rampage. The president is staying at that hotel.

So, I don’t know what the cost is. What I do know, it’s going to be an expensive, expensive trip at a time that we’re struggling. But the payoff must be huge, right? No!

I want to know why he’s going on this trip in the first place. Why spend the money no matter what the number is on a trip that seems to have little or no upside and only risk?

They have canceled this trip two times previously. The first time he said because the health care thing was going on. The second time, he said the oil spill.

OK. Well, we are in a crisis now. Did he miss the food thing that I just did? It doesn’t make sense.

Here’s my concern: every time this gets put back on the calendar, the advance work has to be done all over again. Judging by the size of this operation, I can’t imagine how much advance work we have done and what that cost is.

My question is: the Secret Service, have they been allowed to change the president’s itinerary, his routes, his hotel for his agenda? Or is exactly the same route, itinerary and agenda that has been planned and checked over and over again in a country where you can bribe people?

If you give extremists enough time and an agenda that doesn’t change and you are putting the president of the United States in danger. Is someone in the media who will — who they’ll take a call from? They won’t. Is anyone asking this?

He is arriving in Mumbai just in time for the festival of lights. I don’t know if that’s why he is going, you know? I don’t know if that’s why we’re paying all of this money, for lights. I don’t know how many lights we can send over here. Yes.

Let’s take a detailed look at the itinerary and we see if we can find upside on why we’re putting the president possibly in danger and why we’re spending all of this money.

In India, he’ll be working on lowering tensions between India and Pakistan. How? What? What are we offering? How’s that?

He’ll also be talking to survivor [sic] of the Mumbai attacks. I personally think he could probably spend less money and talk to the 9/11, you know, family victims here. I mean, explain why Gitmo is still open and we haven’t had trials yet. They probably would like to know that.

Visit the Mumbai Gandhi Museum where — I’m not kidding you — they are now talking the coconuts out of the tree, because they don’t want one to fall out of the tree and hit him in the head. Is that a regular occurrence over there?

He’s going to have a roundtable with entrepreneurs. The man won’t meet with the Chamber of Commerce here. Sir, I’ll set that up for you free, here.

Obama will then visit a local school in Mumbai to mark Diwali, I guess the biggest annual religious holiday for Hindu [sic] and Sikhs.

Then he holds a town hall meeting to promote food security and democracy. Really? Food — you should watch the first segment, Mr. President. Food security.

Maybe you could have the Fed explain, you know, what they’re doing to the price of our food here. Look what General Mills has to do to the price of cereal.

That’s great. That’s the end of the first leg. It sound sounds fun. A ceremonial trip, but zero value so far.

Then it’s off to Delhi, to visit the tomb of 16th century emperor and then to Indonesia — Jakarta, where he spent part of his childhood. Oh, the memories.

Then he gets to have lunch with the president of China — where I can guarantee the president of China is probably going to talk a little bit about, what are you doing? Why are you spending so much money? What’s up with the dollar? You know, that kind of thing.

And then, finally, on the back end of his trip, there’s a G-20 gathering in South Korea. Then he wraps it up with lunch with the president of Russia.

Great. Call! You can pick up the phone and do a lot of that stuff! Is it worth the money and the trouble, the security risk? Can you imagine
can you imagine what would happen, God forbid, if something happened to the president of the United States? I am concerned about the president’s itinerary not being changed — has it been.

There are so many members of the media that will say I’m dangerous to even have on the air, to even say anything. I mean, this guy’s so dangerous! Will someone in the media who hasn’t been declared an enemy of the state please ask the Secret Service a question. Ask them, off record because they’re not going to tell you on record, off record. Are you comfortable with the president of the United States on this trip? Are you comfortable that everything’s buttoned up? They’ll tell you off the record, I’m sure.

Then you need to go on the record and do your president and your country a favor and ask what the meaning of this trip is. Why is he going? Protect him. Please. Protect him. Pray for our Secret Service.

Number of times Glenn Beck initially presents a statement as fact, but can’t back it up with actual evidence: 10

Number of things Glenn Beck doesn’t know/can’t prove: 16

My favorite thing that Glenn Beck doesn’t know anything about has to be Diwali.  Glenn Beck says, on air mind you, “…I guess the biggest annual religious holiday for Hindu [sic] and Sikhs.”  I guess.  Or something like that.  I mean, I suppose it’d be a lot to ask that Glenn Beck take the time to actually look up a fact about Diwali on Wikipedia before the show.  But I’m also guessing that since he didn’t take the the time to read something, Glenn Beck can’t read.  Is that true?  I don’t know.  Wikipedia, by the way, is a very reliable source for information.  Could Fox News get all of their information from Wikipedia?  I don’t know.

Is this where Fox News gets all their information? I don't know.

Number of really ironic statements about things Glenn Beck can’t prove: 1

“Pray for our Secret Service.”  Now there’s something Glenn Beck literally can’t prove does anything: prayer.  Yet he fails to let his viewers know that it actually doesn’t do anything.

The pointless drivel that Glenn Beck utters day-in and day-out amazes me.  What amazes me even more is that people still listen to that turd like he knows what he’s talking about, when he openly admits that he has no idea about anything that he’s talking about.

If you’d like to read the transcript in all its idiotic, pointless glory, you can check it out here.


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