I know professional athletes are incredibly rich, and thus they can afford to be more eccentric than the average man. Like Ron Artest. I’m strangely intrigued by the man. He scares the bejeezus out of me. I feel like he’s a Vietnamese landmine waiting to explode. But if you watched his interview after Game 7 last night, I think you can understand why I find the man so interesting. People can’t behave like him in real life, which is part of the appeal of him, I suppose. I enjoy seeing what he can get away with before someone says something to him.
I digress. Anyways, that leads me to this question and I’m looking for a genuine answer for this one. I was watching the Buccos on FSP the other day and we had a rookie make a big 0-fer splash that night. As the game progressed, I noticed something very odd about this rookie, and not just his strike outs. Disturbing, I’d dare say. Does anyone know why (newly anointed) Pittsburgh Pirates savior, Pedro Alvarez, wears his hat like this:
Has anyone seen Pedro Alvarez’s ears? I don’t want to make fun of the kid if his ears were mauled by a pack of vicious wolves when he was growing up, or if he lost the top of them in a tragic farming accident, or something along those lines. Does he have mouse ears? I need more information about this guy’s ears before I can decide how to approach this situation. However, if it turns out that he wears his hat like that just because he’s a professional athlete and can afford the eccentricity, or he thinks it’s “cool”, or because he’s rich enough that he doesn’t care what people think, well I’m going to have to make fun of him for as long as he continues to wear his hat over his ears.
I keep thinking that this is the new “thing” that kids in baseball are going to be doing, and that thought makes me sick to my stomach. I hope this is just a douchey, prima donna phase he’s going through and that when he realizes that he won’t be starting a new trend wearing his hat like that, he’ll eventually get one that fits his pumpkin properly. Or I hope he has a medical reason he wears his hat like that.
And in case you’re wondering, yes, he does wear his hat like that during games as well.
People laugh at the Pirates enough as it is. I’d prefer not to give them another good reason to laugh at us more. I just want answers, damn it! Does anyone have them for me?