Doppelgänger of the Day: Vol. 11

August 26, 2011

One of the many benefits of having summers off is that it affords plenty of time to watch History Channel documentaries.  The other day I was channel surfing and quickly found myself engrossed in a History Channel original docudrama titled ‘After Armageddon‘.  This show chronicled the journey of the Johnson family who were trying to survive in a post-apocalyptic United States.

Well worth an hour and a half of your time.

One of the things that immediately struck me about the show was how it starred an incredibly young Ray Romano.  Once I heard the guy talk, however, I knew he was no Manny the Mastodon.  Nope.  It was just television documentary regular Rob Hartz.

Boy, you catch that Rob Hartz guy in the appropriate lighting and he immediately looks like a family-friendly comedian. With better hair.

Doppelgänger of the Day: Vol. 10

April 24, 2011

It’s been a long time since I’ve found some celebrity look-a-likes.  Well, I didn’t need to look much farther than my least favorite coach in the NFL, Bill Belichick.  His twin is long-time actor R.D. Call, who you may remember as “Enforcer” in the critically acclaimed Kevin Costner hit Waterworld.  He also appeared in a few episodes of Walker, Texas Ranger, just like the better half of my last doppelgänger counterparts, Jeffrey Dean Morgan.

There are a couple of leathery, old faces. Does Belichick ever not look disappointed?

Bryce Harper is your God now.

January 22, 2011

Just keeping tabs on the most coveted 18 year old in the United States.  Other than Miley Cyrus, of course.

Someday these two will grow up, get their drivers licenses, and have the most talented children in the history of the world.

The number one overall pick was compared to all-time greats Ken Griffey Jr. and Alex Rodriguez at 17 years of age.  He was anointed as “Baseball’s Chosen One” by Sports Illustrated.  He earned his GED so he could leave high school two years early and go play Junior College baseball, where he tore up the circuit to the tune of .443/31/98 in 66 games.  And he did it while swinging a wooden bat.  The kid’s basically the Paul Bunyan of baseball.

Sent to earth by our Heavenly Father to save humanity from itself.

So, with his first taste of professional baseball this fall, all eyes were on the wonder-kid who seems to be a modern day Roy Hobbs.  How did he do this fall?  He put on a nice little show for someone who would typically be bagging groceries and taking ECON 101 at his age.  Baseball is a cruel game when it comes to draft picks.  Having number one talent certainly doesn’t guarantee success in professional baseball (hello Bryan Bullington).  However, this kid seems pretty hellbent on making himself the best in the business and, while only at 18 years old, I’m not going to bet against him.

Source: 1

Doppelgänger of the Day: Vol. 9

September 29, 2010

Javier Bardem is an Oscar winning actor.  The other is Jeffrey Dean Morgan.  Jeffrey Dean Morgan is not an Oscar winning actor.  However he was on an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger back in 2000.  Go look it up.

Left: Javier Bardem. Right: Jeffrey Dean Morgan, best known for his role as Jake Horbart on Walker, Texas Ranger, episode #9.9, Child of Hope.

On my brother, Jon.

September 28, 2010

My brother Jon is an insanely creative, intelligent, and clever person.

Meet Jon.

I just wanted to let the world know this.

Where do I apply for this job?

September 8, 2010

Katy Perry, I love you.

I don’t know what it takes to get into this lady’s line of work, but I took art all the way through Art Seminar in high school.  I feel like my qualifications speak for themselves.

But let’s take a moment and highlight what a gal Katy Perry is.  She’s donating her beautiful 32D breasts to help support breast cancer awareness.  If I only had a child’s college fund to spend.  I’d be bidding on those paper mâché breasts and winning.

You minx.

A few little known facts about Sean Connery

September 5, 2010

Sean Connery is one of the most successful and instantly recognizable men on the planet.  But for as much as people read about him and watch his movies, there is a lot of mystery surrounding the original James Bond.  I’ve done some extensive research and found a few little known facts about the man that stole all of our grandmothers’ hearts.

Ladies, brace yourselves.

1. Sean Connery was once offered the lead role in “The Passion of the Christ,” but turned it down because he was tired of being type-cast as “The Savior of All Mankind.”

2. Tired of the political unrest between East and West Germany, Sean Connery took one last mission from the British Secret Service and destroyed the Berlin Wall, then subsequently made love to a German spy on the rubble.

3. Sean Connery once saved the entire race of dragons from extinction.

4. When Sean Connery was knighted, he saved the Queen from a terrorist plot, drank a vodka martini; shaken, not stirred, and then made love to the Queen in her carriage.

5. Each time Sean Connery turns down a part in a movie, an angel catches fire.

6. Sean Connery can make a woman orgasm by smiling at her and winking.

7. Typically it’s very gross to sleep with the same woman as your dad, unless your dad is Sean Connery in which case he has slept with every woman on the planet, so it’s unavoidable.

8. Sean Connery physically gave birth to Indiana Jones after carrying him in a womb he created for himself because he was concerned that a woman wouldn’t be able to handle that much sex appeal inside of them.

9. Excited by the news that Sean Connery decided to reprise his role as James Bond in the movie “Never Say Never Again” in 1983, the United States, Lebanon, and Israel signed an agreement on Israeli withdrawal from Lebanon.

10. Sean Connery will make Scotland an independent nation one day by offering the country a drink and then sleeping with it.

11. Sean Connery once wanted to prove how sexy being bald and having a hairy chest were. He then plucked the hairs out of his head one by one and inserted them in his chest.

Doppelgänger of the Day: Vol. 8

September 4, 2010

One of the most influential pieces of art this side of ‘Saved by the Bell’ has to be the highly esteemed drama ‘The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air‘.  A little known fact about that show is that before he became a premier running back in the NFL, Washington Redskins rusher Clinton Portis starred on that show as the Tom-Jones-loving Carlton Banks.  If you don’t believe me, check it out below.

Left: Clinton Portis. Right: Alfonso Ribeiro, the real Carlton Banks. What do they have in common? Both love pastels.

Doppelgänger of the Day: Vol. 6

July 22, 2010

I’ve found my new love.  Katy Perry.  I’m so happy because I never thought I’d love again.

I’ve found my new love.  Zooey Deschanel.  I’m so happy because I never thought I’d love again.

Left: California gurl Katy Perry. Right: 500 Days of Zooey Deschanel. That's some over-stimulation.

I wonder what it’d take for me to get these two girls together.

Cleveland is as bitter as its beer

July 19, 2010

With all good intentions I’m sure, the local brew pub, Great Lakes Brewing Company, has brewed what is sure to be their most popular beer yet.  Ironically named Quitnessin honor of the former savior of the city, LeBron James, this beer is described as, “…sure to be as bitter as the mood of Cleveland these days.”

At 7.5% ABV (alcohol by volume), Cavs fans will be able to drown their sorrows much quicker than they would with their standard Miller Lite or Bud Light drafts.  Make sure you check out all of GLBC’s delicious beers here.  They have quite the extensive list.

While I can’t get on board with the owner of the Cleveland Cavaliers, Dan Gilbert, and his sentiments regarding LeBron (like LeBron, he’s a businessman.  It’s very unbecoming to cry like a petulant child over a business decision), I can completely understand the residents of the city of Cleveland and their resentment towards James.  The manner in which he departed from Cleveland was disrespectful on a level that I have never seen in professional sports.  LeBron behaved like one of those spoiled girls on MTV’s My Super Sweet 16 show, calling attention to himself for weeks before letting the world know that he would announce his decision to the ultra-douche Jim Gray during a one hour ESPN television special that could only be described as one of the most awkward television experiences Jim Gray had participated in since he verbally sucker punched Pete Rose on his All Century Team Induction back in 1999.

The poor sports fans of Cleveland were collateral damage in the fallout of LeBron James and his plan for global domination, which clearly couldn’t occur with him playing in a market like Cleveland.

In other news, trying to follow in LeBron’s footsteps, Zydrunas Ilgauskas left Cleveland for Miami, but no one in Cleveland seemed to notice.


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